Blog 6

Do you ever feel like you can never please anyone?? Or your torn between two people? I have been like this since i was 4 or 5 years old. My parents are divorced. They have been seperated for a long time now. They are both remarried as well.
Since i have become older and able to understand everything more its really starting to affect me. When i was little i didnt really understand what was going on but now that i do it puts so much strain on me. I feel like i can never please my parents. I am always hurting someone, for instance, my mom and i got into a fight this weekend about everything. We still are not talking. I just wish my parents could of worked it out and were still together today, but i know everything happens for a reason and all, but why this? The answer will be unknown for me as i do not liek to talk about this situation very much because it is really emotional for me. I pray everyday that this wont happen to me. I also pray that when it is my time to get married my parents and relatives can just love each other for one day, just for me. I cant even imagine what this day will be like or anything. What will they do when i have kids? fight over whos watching when? My guess is yes.....i just want all the hate to stop but i know thats never going to happen at least right now.

Blog 5

As the year winds down to an end everything is getting crazy. I never felt so ugh i dont even know the word. I just feel so stressed and feel like everything is just going way to fast. Not that that is a bad thing but everything is due etc. I just wish i could have a week where i could just relax and not have to worry about doing this or that for school. I can not wait for summer. I want it so bad right now. I just want to be able to go to work and come home and just relax or hang with friends. I know we have like four weeks of school left. These four weeks are going to take forever to get through. I am going to be extremely busy with a lot of stuff in the next week and i am not going to like it.
Like this weekend my little brother had to have emergency surgery on his mouth and everything with that just adds another load onto my back. I feel like i never loose something, i am always gaining more and more. I have school on my mind, family issues, personal issues, friends and just ahhhh. It hurts my head at times. I just feel like i am always thinking about something i can never just sit and relax. Summer makes a lot of these worries go away for me, not because we arent in school but because you can relax and just be free of things.

Blog 4

Saturday night i was helped the rescue group that i am a part of with a transport they just got in. They got 15 puppies and a couple bigger dogs. I never felt so bad for these dogs before until i saw this transport. The puppies were dirty and they smelled extremely bad, like poop. We found out before they arrived with the puppies one didnt make it. Its really sad because they did everything they could to keep it alive, but it just couldnt fight it. We washed about 10 to 12 puppies. It was a huge learning experience for myself. They got 5 puppies that looked extremely sick. We tried feeding them and only one would eat. The rest just layed down and looked miserable. We had to give each puppy an iv to rehydrate them. We gave all the pups an antibiotic and a few other medicine that i cant remember. We got to name all the puppies that came over. There were two black lab pups that we named Scarlet and Butler. There were two brown pups that we named Bucky and Brandi. We also named these pups Horton and Ciara. The last 5 puppies we named Minnie, Mater, Riley, Tiki, and Rico. These were the pups needed to be seperated from one another because they are so sick. We found out today that one pup, Riley, didnt make through the night. It really sad when you are trying to do everything but they just cant pull through. I will never forget that day because i learned so much.

BLog 3

This weekend i am going to visit Platteville. I want to transfer to a different school next year. I would like to play softball somewhere, i cant play it at uw sheboygan of course because they do not have a team. I have three choices i would like to go. Uw Oshkosh is my first, Stevens Point is my second and Platteville is my third. I am leaning way more for oshkosh because its close to home and yet still kinda far away. I like living at home to a point but i just want to experience what all my friends are experiencing. I want to make more friends and i really want to play college softball and be apart of a team again. I loved my team last year in high school and i miss this sport so dearly right now as the season is coming up. I love my coach as well. I could not thank her enough for what she has taught me through out the four years i was apart of the team. Most people think softball is such an easy sport, trust me its really not. You have to be aware of everything mentally and physically. This game is all about mental work. You have to know tons of plays that you have to memorize, signs, and you have to just be on top of the ball, very alert. I thought i was never going to remember anything that my coach said but its just something you dont ever forget. You drill these things in your head, well at least i did. When i am competing in this sport its just different for me than other sports. Its a huge adrenaline rush and i get really pumped up and i just cant wait to smack the ball. I hate losing but i learn from more than anything. I love to compete.

Blog 2

As many of you know our economy really is in a down fall. I recently found out that my dad lost his job. They decided to shut down his facilty in Port Washington. They did however offer him a job in PA. I am not sure what his decision will be or what will happen. He has till March 13th to decide for sure. If he chooses to move out there me and my brothers will not see him at all, or very rarely. We would have to fly out every once in a while, and maybe not even at all. I live with my dad and i do not have a room at my moms anymore. I would either have to move to PA with my dad or figure out something and move in with my mom. I am just really sad that this happened but i do know some people got it way worse and i am trying to tell myself that but its hard already when my parents are divorced and than this happens. I am really close with my family and i would hate to have my dad a thousand miles away from me. I wouldnt be able to see my little sibilings grow up and be around them like i am now. I know this decision is going to take a lot of thinking and such, but my hope is that they dont move. I know everything will work out and everything will come together.

Blog 1

I am the type of person that likes to listen to music, exercise, talk to someone that will listen, and write poetry to get rid of my stress or anger. I find it extremely relaxing to exercise when i am upset or just in a bad mood. It relieves all my stress for the most part. When i listen to music it also relaxes me but i listen to the lyrics more so than the beat of a song. The words make me think and the stress drifts away as i listen. When i talk to someone it helps to get it out but its not always the best idea to do because usually with me the person i talk to just gets mad at me for coming to her with my "problems". I tend to go to other people now. I talk to my mom a lot. I use to never talk to my mom about anything. Than last summer i moved out and moved in with my dad. She was not very happy, she was more hurt than anything. Ever since i moved out i became so much closer with her. I am not afraid to tell her anything. I also go to my high school softball coach a lot. She is a very wise person and she has helped me through a lot these past years of my life. I could not thank her or my mother enough for what they do for me. Lastly, i love to write. If i had the time to jsut sit and write all day i would. I love to express my feelings through poetry. When i do have time i do write. I mostly write about how i feel or about love and happiness. I also write about sad things as well. I just feel that these ways of releasing stress and anger help me realize that everything is going to be okay.