Blog 6

Do you ever feel like you can never please anyone?? Or your torn between two people? I have been like this since i was 4 or 5 years old. My parents are divorced. They have been seperated for a long time now. They are both remarried as well.
Since i have become older and able to understand everything more its really starting to affect me. When i was little i didnt really understand what was going on but now that i do it puts so much strain on me. I feel like i can never please my parents. I am always hurting someone, for instance, my mom and i got into a fight this weekend about everything. We still are not talking. I just wish my parents could of worked it out and were still together today, but i know everything happens for a reason and all, but why this? The answer will be unknown for me as i do not liek to talk about this situation very much because it is really emotional for me. I pray everyday that this wont happen to me. I also pray that when it is my time to get married my parents and relatives can just love each other for one day, just for me. I cant even imagine what this day will be like or anything. What will they do when i have kids? fight over whos watching when? My guess is yes.....i just want all the hate to stop but i know thats never going to happen at least right now.

Blog 5

As the year winds down to an end everything is getting crazy. I never felt so ugh i dont even know the word. I just feel so stressed and feel like everything is just going way to fast. Not that that is a bad thing but everything is due etc. I just wish i could have a week where i could just relax and not have to worry about doing this or that for school. I can not wait for summer. I want it so bad right now. I just want to be able to go to work and come home and just relax or hang with friends. I know we have like four weeks of school left. These four weeks are going to take forever to get through. I am going to be extremely busy with a lot of stuff in the next week and i am not going to like it.
Like this weekend my little brother had to have emergency surgery on his mouth and everything with that just adds another load onto my back. I feel like i never loose something, i am always gaining more and more. I have school on my mind, family issues, personal issues, friends and just ahhhh. It hurts my head at times. I just feel like i am always thinking about something i can never just sit and relax. Summer makes a lot of these worries go away for me, not because we arent in school but because you can relax and just be free of things.